The Daily Report - File No. 01b: It's a Hard...
by Sgt Ranma
Summary: This is a prequel to my fic Officer Saotome. This fic highlights daily life of Ranma as a cop in LA, and there he meets Ichino Yanagida, the only BAV character in the fic.


This is one part of many little short stories spun off from  
my Officer Saotome series. It's sort of a prequel, detailing  
the daily life of Ranma during his days as a policeman. You  
will have to read Officer Saotome as a prerequisite before  
reading this, otherwise don't blame me if the story seems  
totally out of line, or if it is uninteresting to you. I  
doubt most people will be too interested in this spin-off,  
since it was spawned from the suggestions of one fan.  
  
Here are a few things you must know while reading this:  
  
-For all of you readers, PLEASE read the notes at the end of  
the fic before you start flaming me for things that you  
don't understand or think is bogus, my notes just might  
answer all your questions. If that doesn't do it, feel free  
to pound away at my mailbox.  
  
Ooop, as always, my fics are all R-rated in terms of movie  
ratings, and this one is no exception. So don't complain!  
  
Otherwise, enjoy! ^_^  
  
-SgtRanma  
  
Please visit my website at http://sgtranma.anifics.com! New  
fics will always appear there first! And I update often!  
  
****ONCE AGAIN, I'M WARNING YOU. IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MY  
PREVIOUS FIC OFFICER SAOTOME UP TO CHAPTER 4 COMPLETELY, DO  
NOT READ THIS. OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT MAKE SENSE! THIS IS A  
PREQUEL! OFFICER SAOTOME CAN BE FOUND IN THE WEBSITE  
MENTIONED ABOVE! However, if you really want to read it that  
bad, just go ahead. It's just that a couple of huge details  
(such as why the hell Ranma is in Los Angeles anyway and as  
a cop, of all things) won't make sense to you.****  
  
------------------------  
  
The Daily Report  
  
File No. 01b: It's a Hard Knock Life, For Us!  
  
January 27th, 1999.  
77th Street Division Precinct, LAPD - Los Angeles,  
California. 2:03 PM.  
  
"Get in," the young pigtailed police officer pointed to  
the passenger side of the black and white Chevy Caprice  
police cruiser. "Let's go for a ride."  
  
The eager and anxious Ichino gladly obliged and boarded  
the passenger side, awaiting her first day of real police  
work. The inside of the car was the same as the vehicles she  
was trained with in the Academy, although thankfully this  
car had the newer generation of police radio controls and  
siren/light functions, along with a central info pod which  
was a modified laptop computer. She continued to fidget with  
her police tools strapped on to her, trying to get into a  
comfortable position.  
  
She bumped her head slightly against something behind  
her. Ichino turned around to see what the hell it was, a  
shotgun electronically locked in the shotgun rack. Oh yeah,  
she forgot about that.  
  
Ranma climbed into the driver's seat and slammed the  
door shut, his large PR-24 baton (the T handled nightstick)  
held in his left hand. He slid the baton into a little slot  
near the door to comfortable place it. Ichino saw this and  
did the same, no wonder she could never sit comfortably -  
although her instructors had never advised cadets to do  
this.  
  
Ranma grabbed the receiver for the radio to transmit.  
"This is unit 12-Adam-14, heading out for patrol from base,  
over."  
  
A series of digital blips and bleeps followed. "Unit  
12-Adam-14, acknowledged. Respond to domestic disturbance  
dispute on 1st and Main, over."  
  
"10-4, enroute." Ranma clicked the receiver back in  
place. Here he was, with a new rookie partner, his car  
wasn't even started yet and he already had a collar to  
respond to. Quite a typical day in LA.  
  
"We already have a call?" Ichino asked, thrilled. Her  
eyes lit up like a little girl waiting to open her presents  
on Christmas day. She barely held in her excitement with a  
giggle.  
  
"Yeah," he replied. "I'm surprised that it's such a  
lame call though, I was expecting something bigger."  
  
Ranma twisted the keys to the ignition, sparking a low  
rumbling V8 burble. He shifted the column transmission into  
Drive and floored his way out of the motor pool and  
screeched out into the streets.  
  
Ichino hastily pulled her seatbelt and latched it  
securely, her heart pounding in anticipation of the day's  
work. She'd never been to Downtown Los Angeles before, she'd  
gone to college in Orange County, living in nice suburban  
areas. This place was completely different, the streets were  
filled with pedestrians walking to and fro, the lower levels  
of the sidewalks were full of colorfully decorated  
businesses, mostly run by Hispanics. The sky was contrasted  
with the vast grey of corporate skyscrapers and the  
trademark smog cap that smothered all of Los Angeles and the  
greater area of LA County.  
  
As Ranma drove through the heavy traffic, weaving in  
and out of cars which were nervously being steered away by  
drivers wary of the police cruiser, Ichino continued to scan  
through around the neighborhood, finding new things  
everywhere. On one sidewalk was a huge cargo van with a flip  
open side, serving as a moving fast food restaurant for  
hungry pedestrians. Mexican men and women set up little  
stands on the sidewalk, selling jewelry and other goods to  
people who passed by.  
  
There were various street peddlers, suspicious looking  
hoodlums, teenage mothers with six bawling kids, and she  
could have sworn that she saw a guy on a street corner  
claiming to sell fake IDs and Green Cards for the illegal  
Mexican and Asian immigrants.  
  
Of course when Ranma and Ichino's police unit drove by  
the illegal ID hustler, he quickly ran and hid. Ichino  
noticed this, but her partner just drove by and seemed to  
have either ignored it or failed to notice.  
  
"Hey, Ranma?" she asked, and then bit her lip. "It's  
okay if I can call you, Ranma, right?"  
  
"You're Japanese, aren't you? You can call me with  
Japanese suffixes if it makes you comfortable," he replied.  
  
She shrugged. "I guess I'll call you Ranma-kun or  
Saotome-kun then," she said. "Did you see that guy selling  
the fake ID's? Shouldn't we go back and bust him?" she  
asked. She felt a sense of justice urging up.  
  
Ranma glanced at Ichino with the corner of his eye,  
smirking. "Yeah, I saw him. There are hundreds of guys like  
him in the city. When we come back around this route we'll  
have to sneak up on him, it's no use chasing him if he runs  
away like he did. For now we have a call to respond to."  
  
Ichino shrugged. "Okay."  
  
--------------  
  
2:18 PM  
  
"I tell ya, I did nuthin'! Nuttin' I tell ya! That bag  
of hot air is just running her gawdang mouth off!"  
  
"Err, hang on there," Ichino ground out. Her fingers  
scribbled hastily on her writing pad, jotting down as much  
crucial info as she could in shorthand.  
  
On the other end of dim lit living room of this middle  
classed home, Ranma blocked off an eccentric, frizzled lady  
sticking her arm out, pointing and shouting at her husband.  
"He's a bum! A no good lying bastard! He doesn't do shit at  
home, he don't do shit for work! And then he comes home  
today, and slaps me up like some junkyard dog!" she yelled  
accusingly. She pointed out some red marks on her face,  
along with some scratches on her arms. "Y' see here? Those  
are what he did!"  
  
"Hey, girl! I didn't start this mess! You punched me  
and scratched me up first!" He showed his own scars. "See  
this?!"  
  
The two officers could do nothing but hold them back  
from each other and let them tell their arguments. However  
one was just nodding his head to the words of a whining  
citizen.  
  
"Aw, gawdamn woman! Why'dja gotta bring up Paco? He got  
nothin' to do with this!"  
  
Ichino only sighed.  
  
--------------  
  
2:31 PM  
  
"12-Adam-14, on our way."  
  
A slightly miffed figure barely got herself to sit in  
the passenger seat when she heard the Ranma's response to  
the radio. "Aw, jeez. There's already another call?"  
  
"Yeah, don't worry about it, this one's only two blocks  
away," Ranma replied.  
  
The Caprice quickly hustled over to a busier street and  
into heavier traffic. Ranma drove the car over the curb,  
riding along partially on the sidewalk to avoid the  
unusually congested traffic. There was a lot of honking up  
front though, and it appeared there was something weird  
happening.  
  
Both officers finally came up to an alleyway, where all  
the honking seeming to be taking place. Ranma turned on the  
bar lights on top of the cruiser and got out of his car to  
investigate what the problem was.  
  
Ichino stepped out too, but at her feet she found some  
clothes strewn around. It was a pair of pants, a shirt, some  
dirty underwear, and other assorted items. She looked over  
to her partner, who had his sidearm out and raised in a  
combat ready stance. He was slowly circling around to see  
what was in the alley.  
  
Ichino was genuinely confused. "What are you doing,  
Ranma-kun? Why the hell do you have your piece out?" she  
asked.  
  
She saw the corner of his eye, quickly giving her a  
glance, then looking forward again. "It was an unknown call,  
we don't know what we're up against, Ichino. Didn't they  
teach you that you should be prepared to face the worst  
situation possible for call like that?" he scolded her.  
  
Her eyes grew wide and she immediately drew her pistol  
from her holster, her stance shifted to imitate Ranma. She  
leaned against the wall adjacent to the alley, getting in  
position to give her partner support. She heard a bunch of  
random shuffling, and some shorts howls and other bizarre  
noises.  
  
With a nod to his partner, Ranma inched towards the  
alley, cornering around. "This is the Los Angeles Police  
Department," he yelled out.  
  
Ichino turned around the edge to face the alley, and  
almost dropped her gun as her face blushed bright red.  
  
There in front of them, was a deranged man in his late  
twenties, dancing naked next to a dumpster. He was flopping  
up and down, lewdly showing off all of his parts.  
  
"Holy shit, what the hell is he doing?" Ichino asked,  
embarrassed. She still had her gun raised and pointed in the  
general direction of the guy.  
  
Ranma laughed out loud and holstered his weapon. "Oh  
man, what a day," he chuckled. He looked over to Ichino.  
"Don't worry, this guy's pretty much harmless for now." He  
motioned for her to put her weapon away. "Just don't let him  
get close, then we'll have to shoot him." He walked back to  
the police cruiser to get something from the trunk.  
  
Ichino complied and holstered her weapon. She clicked  
the radio phone piece on her chest with her thumb.  
"Dispatch, this is 12-Adam-14. We have a 5150* on Stanton  
and 1st, requesting backup."  
  
The radio which was on her Sam Brown gave a series of  
digital chirps. "Acknowledged, sending units right away."  
  
"Stand back, I'll take care of this guy," Ranma said  
from behind, startling Ichino.  
  
"Ack! What the hell are you doing?" She looked at the  
device in his hands. "What are you doing with that tazer  
gun?"  
  
Ranma looked at her funny, as if the answer was  
obvious. "I'm gonna zap him, of course. What else would I  
do?"  
  
She shrugged and stepped out of the way. "Go ahead, fry  
him."  
  
Two sharp needle hooks shot out from the bulky tazer  
gun, latching onto the chest of the deranged man. On  
immediate contact a 10,000 watt surge of electricity  
immobilized him and sent him to the ground, convulsing in  
pain. The onlookers and passengers in their cars clapped  
their hands as they saw the annoying loony go down.  
  
Ranma continued zapping the man for another ten  
seconds, to make sure he would be completely harmless. There  
was no telling what drugs this bastard could've used to keep  
himself hopped up.  
  
"Ouch." Ichino walked closer to the naked man on the  
ground, who's eyes were wide open and teeth tightly  
clenched. "I guess he better knock on wood, huh?"  
  
--------------  
  
3:09 PM  
  
"Jeez, officers, I wasn't selling no fake ID's, I swear  
on my mother's grave!" the street peddler argued.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Get your hands against the wall, you're  
under arrest," Ranma said, pushing him roughly.  
  
"Hey, fuck you pig, I want one of those guys who talk  
smart for you and wear a suit!" he yelled, shoving back.  
  
Ranma swept his feet quicker than the peddler could see  
and tripped him painfully on the ground. "Get over here  
Yanagida, frisk 'em."  
  
"Yay!" She happily complied as Ranma stepped away from  
the man to allow her to work. She purposefully dropped to  
one knee on the back of his spine, causing him to yelp in  
pain. She cuffed him and proceeded to search him from head  
to toe. "I always liked doing this at the academy," she  
said, looking up at Ranma.  
  
Ranma smirked as Ichino read off the guy's Miranda  
rights.  
  
--------------  
  
3:35 PM  
  
"I'm sorry sir, but I saw you run that red light, and  
judging from the speed of your car, you should've been able  
to stop," Ichino explained.  
  
The young Asian kid in his new red Honda Accord just  
hated it when things like this happened to him. Of all the  
rotten luck. "Hey girl, you may be cute and all, so I hope  
you can gimme a break." He tapped his steering wheel. "See  
this ride? It's bran' new, I don't want to wear out the damn  
brakes, you understand me?"  
  
A couple of the kids friends were laughing out loud in  
the passenger seats, amused at the nerve of their driver.  
Ranma was right outside, near the rear, covering Ichino's  
back in case these clowns pulled anything.  
  
Ichino however, was a little peeved at his comment.  
"Oh, well that's too bad. I'm gonna write you a ticket  
anyway." She pretended to write for a moment and then turned  
her head up, pointing to the glass on the front passenger  
window. "Oop. That's an illegally tinted window there, I  
gotta cite you for that!"  
  
The arrogant young kid shook his head in confusion.  
"What?"  
  
She wasn't done yet, this kid needed a lesson. "Oh, and  
I see you have clear corner bulbs for the turning lights.  
That's another citation! Oh, and you have something hanging  
on your rearview mirror!"  
  
"Wait a sec..." the kid nervously said. He was starting  
to think that it was a serious mistake to taunt this  
officer.  
  
Ichino finished up writing the ticket and handed it to  
the driver to sign. "There you go, just sign at the bottom,  
and the court date is also written on the ticket."  
  
"Damn..." the kid mumbled, reluctantly signing the  
ticket, which was well written and very descriptive.  
  
Ichino ripped off the top white sheet and kept the two  
carbon copies. "Thank you for your cooperation!"  
  
The car drove off cautiously, and the driver seemed to  
look like he was crying. Ichino walked back to the police  
cruiser, Ranma joining her.  
  
"You're such a spoil sport," he playfully taunted her.  
  
She replied with a smile and gave him a raspberry.  
"Biddaahh!"  
  
--------------  
  
3:49 PM  
  
"All units, officer needs assistance, please respond."  
  
"Goddammit, another one?!" Ichino exclaimed.  
  
"10-4, unit 12-Adam-24 responding," Ranma said to the  
radio receiver. He looked over to his partner. "Hey, what an  
exciting job, ne?"  
  
Ichino replied with a groan.  
  
--------------  
  
4:22 PM  
  
"So just because it's 4:20 in the afternoon all of you  
had to light up in this little apartment? What were you  
gonna do, suffocate yourselves?"  
  
"We're sorry Miss Lady Officer, you wan' join us?" a  
stoned guy offered.  
  
"No!" Ichino yelled. "Get against the wall, you're all  
under arrest!"  
  
Ranma walked back into the living room from a bedroom,  
with a look of disbelief on his face. "Damn, Ichino you  
should check it out, it's the biggest damn bong I've ever  
seen!" he laughed.  
  
Ichino blink-blinked. "What?" she said, confused.  
  
"Yeah! That's our masterpiece!" another guy laughed out  
loud. "We call it Sir Smoke a Lot!"  
  
Ichino face faulted.  
  
--------------  
  
4:58 PM  
  
"Please, officers! Help me! The one eyed, one armed,  
one legged man is trying to stab me!"  
  
"???" Ichino looked dazed as she saw a crazed lady  
running towards her and Ranma in their cruiser as they sat  
in traffic.  
  
"Don't worry, strange shit happens here all the time,"  
Ranma reassured her.  
  
"......"  
  
--------------  
  
5:10 PM  
  
"How the heck did you get your dick stuck in a  
vacuum?!" Ichino yelled angrily.  
  
The two officers were at a gas station, where a number  
of people were slowly crowding around, much to one man's  
dismay. He apparently had his...thing, stuck in the shop vac  
they offered at the side of the gas station, the kind used  
to clean the inside of your car.  
  
"I couldn't help it!" he yelled, embarrassed. "It's  
only for four quarters! It looked so tempting!"  
  
Ranma looked at him with his eyebrows raised. "You're  
one sick bastard, you know that?"  
  
"I haven't cranked in two days! That's why!"  
  
Ichino slapped her forehead.  
  
--------------  
  
6:01 PM  
  
"Unit 12-Adam-14, taking a Code-7," Ranma said to the  
receiver.  
  
"Acknowledged," the radio replied.  
  
"Whew!" Ichino sighed happily. "Finally we can get some  
dinner now!" She counted off all the calls the responded to  
and the number of traffic tickets they gave out. "Wow, we  
gave out 41 tickets, and responded to 13 calls so far. And  
the day isn't even over. I can't wait to eat now."  
  
Ranma drove the cruiser into a small lot and parked the  
car. "I know a good teriyaki place here, and they serve cops  
for half price too."  
  
"Good! I'm starving!" Ichino happily said.  
  
The radio bleeped at that moment. "All units, all  
units, officers need immediate assistance, over."  
  
Ranma immediately started car back up before he even  
got out of his seat. "Here we go again," he said, ready for  
what the streets were going to dish out to him next.  
  
Ichino stamped her feet in hungry frustration. "Mouu!"  
  
--------------  
  
7:04 PM  
  
Ichino slowly backed away from her partner, her eyes  
wide and her head in a jumble.  
  
"Now hold on there, Ichino. Let me explain--"  
  
She pointed a finger at his, or rather HER chest.  
"Ranma, didn't you tell me you were a guy? Now what the fuck  
is going on here?" she asked warily.  
  
Ranma sighed, her female form still much taller than  
Ichino. "It's a long story, I'll tell you in the car."  
  
Ichino shook her head and complied, he, no SHE, was a  
cop after all. She wouldn't do anything to hurt her or  
endanger her.  
  
The two got back into their car, Ranma was wiping her  
face off with some tissues that were inside. "It all started  
back when I was a teenager, and my pop took me out on a  
training trip..."  
  
-------------  
  
7:48 PM  
  
"All units, there's a 211* in progress at Schroeder and  
Campton, a 7-Eleven store."  
  
"12-Adam-14, enroute!" Ranma crisply replied. He had a  
big grin on his face. "Last call of the day! This is good, I  
was in the mood for some hot dogs and a big Icee!"  
  
Ichino had taken Ranma's story about Jusenkyo pretty  
well, and she honestly believed him because he had told it  
so sincere. But right now her mind was on something else.  
"Fooooood..." she mumbled out, drooling. "I want some  
Twinkies and nachos!"  
  
"We'll be there in no time," Ranma said. He punched the  
gas and floored his way across the streets.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
January 27th, 1999.  
77th Street Division Precinct, LAPD - Los Angeles,  
California. 8:45 PM.  
  
The young raven haired girl swung her hips to close the  
door of her side of the vehicle, too tired to use her arms  
instead.  
  
"So, how was your first day?" Ranma asked, a smile on  
his face. He'd been working 12 hours today, compared to six  
with Ichino.  
  
Ichino huffed and batted her eyes in a cutesy fashion.  
"Why, I had SO much fun, Daddy! I got to deal with crooks,  
low lifes, perverts, and all sorts of other cool weirdos in  
the City of Angels!" She put her hands together to finish it  
off. "Isn't it swell?"  
  
Ranma put his hands up. "Hey, today was only a six hour  
day for you, not even a full work day."  
  
"Eh," she waved him off, smiling. "It wasn't bad. It  
was pretty fun. Except next time I'm gonna remember to bring  
some snacks to hide in the car."  
  
"Fun? Ha, today was a normal day. Wait till you work  
here for a while, then you'll see some interesting stuff."  
  
Ichino frowned. "Today was a normal day? What happens  
on a peculiar day?"  
  
Ranma shrugged. "Shit happens."  
  
"Oho?" She squirted her sport top water bottle at  
Ranma's face, triggering his curse for the second time that  
day. "You mean this sorta shit happens?"  
  
"Yeah," Ranma said. She wiped off her face. Ranma  
looked at Ichino for a moment, pondering something. "I still  
don't get why I was specifically partnered to you though,  
you seem like an ordinary rookie to me."  
  
"Hey." She playfully swung her baton around at Ranma.  
"I can certainly do worse."  
  
"Whatever. I'm gonna head off now. I'll see you  
tomorrow morning, for the AM shift, alright?"  
  
"Sure," Ichino replied.  
  
"Heh, see you later, It-CHAN!" Ranma said.  
  
"Hey! I get to call you, Ranma-chan, then, and it'll  
actually fit you sometimes too!" she replied right back.  
  
Ranma shook his head as he entered the main building of  
the station. It was going to be an interesting year. Yep, it  
sure was.  
  
[End of Report, File No. 01]  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: This is fanfiction, I don't own Ranma, nor do I  
own Ichino Yanagida. Don't sue me. I don't own the LAPD  
either, but I will one day, and I'll stow upon my own  
anarchy everywhere! Bwahahha...  
  
Author's Ramble: Here's the first file of the series! I  
hoped you enjoyed it, cause there's lots more to come. And  
don't worry, not every file will be about police stuff.  
It'll be about cars too! Lots and lotso cars! ^_^  
  
Author's Notes: There are several police codes I used within  
this chapter, and I'm gonna use many more in future chapters  
as well, but for now I'll explain to you the ones I used in  
this chapter only.  
  
"12-Adam-14" is actually a real designation for LAPD  
officers. However, it works like this. The first number, 12,  
represents the station code. For example, the LAPD's  
Hollywood Division (Division meaning station or precinct) is  
number "6". 77th Street Division is number 12. The second  
phrase, "Adam", is actually a phonetic code for the letter  
"A". "Adam", or "A" units, consists of two man patrol teams  
in marked police cruisers. These are your most common units,  
and the ones you see most often. The last number is  
basically just a tag for your specific unit. For instance,  
Ranma and Itchan happened to be the fourteenth "Adam" unit  
within Division 12 (77th Street). This coding system within  
the LAPD applies to the entire department. A two man patrol  
unit in Rampart Division would be coded, "2-Adam-#". A  
detective unit in the Hollywood Division would be coded, "6-  
William-#". Hopefully you get the pattern. I won't explain  
EVERY single one of the codes, because I don't think the  
reader would need to know them all. I'll explain the ones  
that I portray in my fics only.  
  
A "5150" is a California welfare code that states that  
an individual is insane and is a danger to himself and to  
others. Basically they're people who need to go to the Loony  
Bin.  
  
A "Code 7" is basically calling in for a meal break,  
that gives us cops usually about 30-45 minutes to rest. In  
real life, we NEVER get all that time. Sigh...  
  
A "211" is another penal code, meaning an armed  
robbery.  
  
As for all the wacky things that Ranma and Itchan  
responded to, they aren't wacky. In the short year I've been  
a cop, I've seen a LOT of weird shit. Dicks stuck in shop  
vacs included _ 


End file.
